Thursday, August 07, 2014

10 Tips from My Dad For a Great Father/Daughter Relationship

10 Tips for a great father/daughter relationship

10 Tips from My Dad for Every Father of Girls

I was one of the lucky ones, I had an amazing relationship with my Father. 

I am an only child and he was the one man in my life that I looked up to with admiration and respected above all others.  Dad was my best friend a wonderful husband to my mother, father to me and grandfather to our girls.  

Sometimes I wonder how he ended up being such a wonderful father. His parents were consistent and stable, but he did not grow up in household that displayed much affection and love.  I know he was very much loved, but that love was not often displayed publicly or privately for that matter.

Dad was a very quiet man and very shy.  He hated bringing any attention to himself and the thought of public speaking was enough to turn his legs to jelly.  

10 tips for a great father/daughter realtionship

He didn't earn a lot of money, so both my parents worked as I was growing up, I was one of the original "latchkey" kids.  But this is not something I look back on with disappointment.   

Although both my parents held down full time jobs, not once did I feel neglected or unloved. On the contrary I look back on my childhood with nothing but good memories.  I totally credit my parents with this. They both never missed a hockey game, equestrian competition, school activity or anything else I was involved in!

My dear Dad passed away very suddenly 2 1/2 years ago and I still feel this loss as keenly now as I did then.  
Anyone who says the loss of a loved one gets easier over time is lying or hasn't been through the experience themselves.  

You never get over losing someone this close to you, however I do believe you learn to live with it with acceptance as time goes on.  

I never knew a man who loved his wife and daughter more and I will always be grateful and extremely reassured that the last words I said to him were "I love you",  I held absolutely no regrets at the time of his passing.

So with all this in mind, here are some tips on Fatherhood from one great Dad and best "mate"
  • Make time everyday to talk to her.  Ask about her day, her friends, any problems she may be having and YES ask her about her boyfriends!!
  • Take your daughter out on a "date" dinner, movie, rock climbing what ever takes your fancy....just  make sure it's just the two of you.  This will force you to spend some quality one on one time with her.
  • Don't be too proud to apologise.  We all know how trying girls can be, especially "Teen" girls. They are talkers, very unlike men, therefore it's easy to get caught up in saying things you don't mean. Make sure you apologise if you blurt out something you regret saying in the heat of the moment.
  • Tell her she looks beautiful and tell her this often.  A Dad is a daughters first male influence and his opinion of her, whether she admits it or not is very important to her.  Make sure yours is a positive one.
  • Take an active interest in her life.  Everything from sporting interests, friends, school life and achievements.  Show up for school plays, art exhibitions,band performances etc, don't just leave this up to Mum all the time.  This will help with her insecurities and self confidence.
  • Show her by example the kind of boy you want her to date.  Show her the right way to treat a women by the way you treat her mother.  Whether you are still with her mother or not, show her that respecting and valuing another human being is just important as affection and love. Teach her she should accept nothing less.
  • Laugh, joke and have fun. Include her in what is going on with your life too. You may be surprised with how interested she is and what things you have in common!
  • Show her trust and honesty.  If you trust and are truthful with her then she is more likely to show this back in kind.  Trust is one of the most, if not THE most important thing you can establish with your teenager .
  • Don't let her hormones get to you.  A period is not a scary thing believe it or not!! The "mood swings" on another hand are an entirely different matter. Heads up Dads!! Just listen and nod your head obediently or sigh and let her have her own space for while. Never engage in  an argument with her when she is won't win.
  • Tell her about your childhood.  Whether it was good or bad, it always helps a child to realise where their parents have come from.  What they have had to overcome to arrive at this point in their lives.  It teaches them to appreciate what they have and not to just expect things to be handed to them. Sometimes you need to change your own lives for the better and work for what you want in life.
10 tips for a great father/daughter relationship

A fathers relationship with his daughter is truly one of the most important things in a young girls life.  This sometimes gets overlooked by both fathers and daughters with fathers tending to leave the parenting of daughters to their mother and daughters thinking that they have nothing in common with their Dads.  Make sure that this doesn't happen to you, there is a lot you can learn from each other.  

Remember that you are the first male influence in her life and you are the one that she will measure all future relationships against, so make your relationship a fantastic one!


What tips do have for fathers with daughters?

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  1. What a beautiful post and what encouraging steps for fathers to take with their daughters. The father/daughter relationship is such a delicate one... and it sets the stage for future relationships. These are wonderful pointers.

    Thank you so much for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

    Wishing you a lovely day.

  2. Great tips! My husband just left on a trip with my oldest daughter this morning. She wanted one last adventure before she leaves for college and they'll have a great time! I'm looking forward to hearing about it! #shinebloghop

  3. My dad died when I was 10 so I missed out on so much with him. I love watching trent interact with our daughter because theres so many things I dont remember from my own dad. Im hoping they'll have a close relationship like I wish I could've had with my dad.

  4. My husband is such a wonderful dad to our daughters, and I am excited to see how he does when they start dating! Your dad sounds like a special man, and it's so wonderful that you have great memories with him! #SHINEbloghop

  5. These are wonderful tips! When I was a young girl I always enjoyed hearing stories from my dad about his childhood. My father was not very strict and always took time out for my sister and I. We had many laughs and still do today :)

  6. Thanks Jennifer, my Dad sure was a very wise man, every man that came into my life had to live up to very high expectations... lucky my hubby passed the

  7. Oh wow, that sounds so special!! what a lovely thing to do, hope she has a great time!

  8. awww I'm sorry to hear that, I'm glad your daughters dad has a close relationship with her, it is a very special thing indeed

  9. Hahaha that's a fun time Charlee, Our Miss 16 has just started dating and it's proving very interesting! Yep my Dad was terrific and we remember him fondly every day.

  10. My Dad wasn't very strict either, he avoided conflict at all costs!! haha, having said that I still knew how far I could push him!


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