Thursday, March 13, 2014

10 Tips from My Dad For a Great Father/Daughter Relationship

10 Tips from My Dad for Every Father of Girls

I was one of the lucky ones, I had an amazing relationship with my Father. 

I am an only child and he was the one man in my life that I looked up to with admiration and respected above all others.  Dad was my best friend a wonderful husband to my mother, father to me and grandfather to our girls.  

Sometimes I wonder how he ended up being such a wonderful father. His parents were consistent and stable, but he did not grow up in household that displayed much affection and love.  I know he was very much loved, but that love was not often displayed publicly or privately for that matter.

Dad was a very quiet man and very shy.  He hated bringing any attention to himself and the thought of public speaking was enough to turn his legs to jelly.  

He didn't earn a lot of money, so both my parents worked as I was growing up, I was one of the original "latchkey" kids.  But this is not something I look back on with disappointment.   
Tips for Dads for their Daughters

Although both my parents held down full time jobs, not once did I feel neglected or unloved. In the contrary I look back on my childhood with nothing but good memories.  I totally credit my parents with this. They both never missed a hockey game, equestrian competition, school activity or anything else I was involved in!

My dear Dad passed away very suddenly nearly 2 years ago and I still feel this loss as keenly now as I did then.  

Anyone who says the loss of a loved one gets easier over time is lying or hasn't been through the experience themselves.  

You never get over losing someone this close to you, however I do believe you learn to live with it with acceptance as time goes on.  

I never knew a man who loved his wife and daughter more and I will always be grateful and extremely reassured that the last words I said to him were "I love you" and that I held absolutely no regrets at the time of his passing.

So with all this in mind, here are some tips on Fatherhood from one great Dad
  • Make time everyday to talk to her.  Ask about her day, her friends, any problems she may be having and YES ask her about her boyfriends!!
  • Take your daughter out on a "date" dinner, movie, rock climbing what ever takes your fancy....just  make sure it's just the two of you.  This will force you to spend some quality one on one time with her.
  • Don't be too proud to apologise.  We all know how trying girls can be, especially "Teen" girls. They are talkers, very unlike men, therefore it's easy to get caught up in saying things you don't mean. Make sure you apologise if you blurt out something you regret saying in the heat of the moment.
  • Tell her she looks beautiful and tell her this often.  A Dad is a daughters first male influence and his opinion of her, whether she admits it or not is very important to her.  Make sure yours is a positive one.
Tips for Dads for their daughters
  • Take an active interest in her life.  Everything from sporting interests, friends, school life and achievements.  Show up for school plays, art exhibitions,band performances etc, don't just leave this up to Mum all the time.  This will help with her insecurities and self confidence.
  • Show her by example the kind of boy you want her to date.  Show her the right way to treat a women by the way you treat her mother.  Whether you are still with her mother or not, show her that respecting and valuing another human being is just important as affection and love. Teach her she should accept nothing less.
  • Laugh, joke and have fun. Include her in what is going on with your life too. You may be surprised with how interested she is and what things you have in common!
  • Show her trust and honesty.  If you trust and are truthful with her then she is more likely to show this back in kind.  Trust is one of the most, if not THE most important thing you can establish with your teenager .
  • Don't let her hormones get to you.  A period is not a scary thing believe it or not!! The "mood swings" on another hand are an entirely different matter. Heads up Dads!! Just listen and nod your head obediently or sigh and let her have her own space for while. Never engage in  an argument with her when she is won't win.
  • Tell her about your childhood.  Whether it was good or bad, it always helps a child to realise where their parents have come from.  What they have had to overcome to arrive at this point in their lives.  It teaches them to appreciate what they have and not to just expect things to be handed to them. Sometimes you need to change your own lives for the better and work for what you want in life.
Tips for Dads for their daughters

I truly hope that most of your daughters can be thankful and proud that they have a similar relationship with their Dad that I had with mine, I know my girls do!! 

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

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