10 Tips once your daughter starts dating
So what is a parent to do when boys go from being Boy “Friends” and want to start becoming THE Boyfriend?
- Open and honest communication. Talk to your girls, ask questions. Ensure you are available for any girly chats. Don’t be too critical of their decisions or choices, calmly try and steer them in the right direction.
- Don’t restrict their outings too much with any boyfriends (within reason of course). This may encourage rebellion and damage any trust you have placed in one other. Outline your boundaries and the reasons behind them.
- Explain why you will not allow certain situations ie sleepovers and excessive and frequent late nights. If they understand where you are coming from, then they are more likely to obey your rules knowing you have their best interests at heart and you are not just out to be a killjoy.
- Teach them self worth. If they value and respect themselves this will encourage any boys to do the same. If they value themselves they will be less likely to go searching for validation elsewhere.
- Encourage them to be themselves. The boy should be interested in them for who they are. Creating and maintaining an alternate persona, is deceptive and hard work. A relationship should be honest and fun.
- Make sure you meet the boy first, before any first dates take place. Most initial contact these days is instigated over social media and text message. Not like the good old fashioned face to face and the land line phone, like it was in our day. So chances are you have never even spoken to the boy before that first date takes place.
- Ensure you know exactly where they are going on their “date” and exactly what time she will be home. Set a curfew for any nighttime dates. Encourage her to text you or call you if she is running late.
- Make sure you have “The Talk” with your daughter outlining the consequences of becoming too serious too fast. There are far too many teenage pregnancies these days from teens who insisted on “living in the moment”.
- Ensure that the age difference is not too vast. At 15-16 years of age the age difference should not be any greater than 1 or 2 years. As they get older the age difference won’t matter so much. But as teenagers when one partner is classified as an adult ie 18 and the other at 15 is still a child, this can create all sorts of additional problems such as “age of consent” issues, underage drinking and maturity differences, both mentally and physically. An 18 year old boy may be ready for a lot more than a 15 year old is willing or ready to give.
- My last point is this…..Keep the bedroom door open……always……