10 Things You Never Say To A Teenage Girl
Living with teenage girls can sometimes mirror that of walking through a minefield.
You find yourself taking tentative steps not knowing if the next step you take is going to result in everything blowing to kingdom come!
Teenage girls are just wired differently to every other species on the face of the Earth.
They are also very different from each other.
Trying to navigate these differences with 4 girls, all living under the same roof can sometimes be very challenging indeed.
What you say to one, you know that you can’t possibly say to other, without it being taken the wrong way.
So with that in mind, what are the number one things to never say to your teenage girl to ensure smooth sailing?
- Are you wearing your sisters jeans?
There are many times when my teen girls have come downstairs wearing jeans so tight that they couldn’t possibly be wearing their own.
Perhaps her 10 year old sisters clothes have been mixed up with hers in the daily ‘fluff and fold.
Either way you know that half way through the day, she is going to be regretting that wardrobe selection when she realises that she can’t sit down comfortably after eating that Quarter Pounder for lunch…Hopefully are this this little lesson, you won’t have to bring up this subject again.
- You seem to be getting a lot of pimples lately
All teenagers get pimples, however some seem to suffer worse than others and some are extra sensitive about others noticing those painful little red blemishes.
Never bring attention to the fact that they are noticeable, just subtly change the brand of face wash that she is using and place it on the bathroom counter, rest assured she will try it.
- How Was School Today?
9 times out of 10 when you ask this question, the resulting answer is more than likely to be a simple “grunt”. Sometimes you may be lucky enough to get a verbal rely of “nothing much”….I mean come on! You had to have done something during your day!!
Or if you are extremely lucky you may get a “good”. But very rarely will you get any further details.
A trick to combat this is to ask a specific question, like “how was your English test today?”, “Did you do sport today?” “How is ‘so and so’ going”? etc.
You are more likely to get a response if you ask a direct and to the point question.
- Why aren’t you more like your sister?
Never ever compare siblings. Even in the same household your teens are probably very, very different people.
Their strengths and weaknesses are also bound to be very different also.
The trick is to concentrate on the individual, encourage them to see and appreciate their own individual attributes.
They are probably spending time comparing themselves to their siblings anyway. I know my girls wish that they were as strong academically or as gifted at sport at their siblings.
With this in mind they don’t need you to point out their differences and assumed inadequacies too.
- Don’t you think you are wearing too much makeup?
All teenage girls love to experiment with different make up styles. Sometimes they will get it right, sometimes they will get it very, very wrong.
Instead of telling them that they look dreadful, and may have gone slightly overboard and now resemble an Oompa Loompa.
Perhaps have a makeover day and give each other a makeover, with the less is more strategy.
Go shopping for foundation and other makeup products together.
Compliment her when she gets it right, that way she is more likely to repeat that end result next time.
- Are you really going to eat that?
We are all prone to perhaps indulging more than we should.
Teenage girls are no different. Although they are perhaps a little more sensitive when that indulgence is brought to their attention.
I have teenagers that have totally opposing body shapes. One is busty and thicker set and one is small, skinny and athletic.
Let me tell you though, they each want the body of the other. Miss E want boobs and Miss M hates them and would gladly hand them over.
The trick is to teach them to appreciate the physical attributes they have.
Not everyone is built the same way and the sooner you can get them comfortable in their own bodies the happier they will be.
If you are concerned about their eating habits, just make sure you fill the house with healthy, filling foods. Nuts, fruit and vegetables etc and make sure they eat a balanced diet.
Chocolate is always going to be a necessity (especially at that time of the month). They are always going to go to McDonalds with their friends, teach them that everything is ok in moderation.
- Just give me a minute
If your teenager wants to talk to you grab the opportunity with both hands, immediately.
They never want to talk about their lives when you want, so when they bring the opportunity to you, embrace it and never put the moment off.
Communication is half the battle raising a teenager. You want to keep all lines of communication open at all times.
I can’t emphasise this point enough, open and regular communication is the key to a a great relationship with your teenage girl.
If you have an open and honest relationship with your teenager, if they feel comfortable coming to you and talking to you about everything and anything, then you have pretty much won the battle.
- He’s not right for you….
You may not like her boyfriend, but at this moment in time she most certainly does.
You do not want to give her any excuse for not feeling comfortable bringing him home,(where you can keep an eye on things).
You do not want to give her any reason to sneak around behind your back and keep you out of the loop and potentially lose your trust, this creates an even bigger problem.
More than likely the relationship will fizzle out on it’s own, without any intervention from you, just be there to help pick up the pieces.
- That’s not very “lady –like”
“Lady like”, what on earth does that mean?
Does it mean don’t play in the dirt? Don’t eat with your hands? Don’t burp at the table? Don’t sit with your legs apart?
Or can it have another meaning.?
Don’t become a scientist, don’t becomes an engineer, don’t become an architect, Don’t study business…..
More and more girls are dropping subjects at school like the sciences and business subjects.
We should be encouraging our girls to study what they want, whether it be male dominated or not.
Perhaps we should be encouraging our girls to take more of an interest in these fields, rather than telling them that curiosity, mess, playing in the dirt, being opinionated and having ambition is not very “lady-like”.
After all a little dirt never hurt anyone.
- Don’t comment on their social media status, post photos, or send ‘friend requests’ to their friends…without their permission
I have learn’t this the hard way.
Some teenage girls don’t care about the odd picture being posted on Facebook, but being the sensitive little butterflies we all know a teen girl to be, play it safe and check with them first.
Don’t send ‘friend’ requests on Facebook or other social media to their friends.
I am ‘friends’ with some of my girls friends on social media, but only those that have sent requests to me, not the other way around.