A Letter To My Daughters Future Partner
As a parent you want your daughters to grow up happy, healthy and at peace in their lives.
You want them to find self fulfilment and to have an identity that means more than just being someone’s wife and mother.
With this in mind, I thought I would draft a letter to my daughters future partner, letting him know the treasure he will be inviting into his life and what he needs to do (and not what to do) to hang to her.
To My Daughters Future Partner
My daughters future partner, you have decided that you want to have a relationship with my daughter.
The family you are deciding to become a part of, is a very passionate, close and loving family.
We girls stick together and support each other through thick and thin.
There are however a few things that you had better realise straight off the bat.
She is very quick tempered, however with that quick temper also comes an infinite amount of passion and ability to love. Don’t take this love for granted and don’t take her temper personally. She is fiery and once it is out of her system she is done, hang in there.
Be patient with her when she loses her temper, because she will.. and often.. This just means that she is strong willed and knows what she wants, life will never be boring.
She is fiercely ambitious. Don’t smother her dreams. Encourage and support her and she will do the same in return. Marriage and partnership are a two way street, if you want her to support your dreams and goals, be prepared to do the same for her, no matter how silly or insignificant they may seem to you.
Take the time to listen to her. Even if what you think she is saying is not important. It’s important to her, therefore it should be important to you.
Don’t walk out of the room while she is talking, actually stop and take the time to listen to her.
She is a very driven and hardworking young lady and maybe you are too. So take the time to decompress and focus on what brought the two of you together in the first place. Make the time to work on your relationship, have fun together. Go out on regular ‘dates’ and don’t forget that your relationship is important.
Life has a tendency to get away from us all at times, we all get busy. Don’t let your relationship get swept under the rug. It will take work and sometimes won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
Work to live, don’t live to work. Don’t put your job ahead of each other. Make sure she still knows that she is the most important thing in your life, no matter how busy you get.
Be affectionate. She is a very affectionate young lady and will need a cuddle every now and again. Kiss her goodnight and goodmorning and always when you leave for the day.
If and when you ever have children, if she decides to stay at home while they are young, don’t devalue the work she is doing. She is moulding the future generation and there is no job more important.
There will be days where the struggle and pressure is all too real. Don’t minimise or belittle the pressure she is under just because she is not out in the workforce like you.
Some of her days will be good, some bad, understand that and be proud of her, even if the house has gone to pot.
She will probably want to go back to work after she has children. She has a very creative and busy mind and one that needs to be stimulated. Encourage her desire to want more out of life, she is going to want more than staying at home and being a wife and mother.
Her identity is very important to her and she is going to fight tooth and nail to hang onto it.
She’s going to be a bit messy. That’s just the way she is. If you want perfection in a housekeeper then best you get out now, cause that ain’t gonna happen. She believes in teamwork so you are going to have to pitch in and do just as much housework as she is doing, or the shits going to hit the fan….. just a warning….
She does not suffer fools lightly and will not put up with being put down, verbally or physically abused. Try any of these things and you will be out on your ass.
You will also have a feisty Mother In-Law to contend with too, just remember where she gets it from.
Above all treat her with respect, love and honesty and you will find that you will not only gain a warm, loving and respectful partner in return, but a valued best friend who will support you and cherish you right through your relationship…well until you piss her off anyway.