Words Your Teenage Daughter Needs To Hear
Are you struggling to get the conversation started with your teenage daughter? What are the words your teenage daughter needs to hear from you each day?
Life is hectic. We rush rush rush and then we rush some more.
My top sentence I blurt out each day would have to be the dreaded “come on hurry up” with a “quick quick quick” thrown in for good measure. (guilty as charged).
There barely seems time just to sit and talk with our kids… but sometimes we have to make the time.
When our children are small, we are inclined to do everything for them.
As they grow, they learn to become more independent and self sufficient and our role in their lives begins to change.
Once this self sufficiency and independence kicks in, we can get a bit carried away celebrating our new found freedom and we sometimes overlook the fact, that our teenagers still need us just as much as ever. They just aren’t as vocal about it anymore.
There are still things your teenage daughter needs to hear from you and there are still things she needs you to do for her.
Don’t mistake the silence to mean that everything is OK and running smoothly in her life.
Words Your Teenage Daughter Needs To Hear.
- How was your day? What did you do? What happened today? Even though the standard answer to this question will most probably be “nothing”, I still advise asking it anyway. One day you may get a different answer.
- Do you have any homework? If your answer to this question is met with a “no”, this is extremely doubtful. Most high school kids have homework every day and if they don’t then they are expected to do revision or reading.
- What do you need from me? Many teens need to ask their parents important questions and discuss sensitive issues, but have no idea how to start the conversation. Sometimes all it takes is a little prompting.
- Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Their answer may surprise you. The future they have mapped out for themselves, might be very different to the one you have envisaged for them.
- Is there anything bothering you? Most likely the answer to will be “no”, even if she wants to say “yes”. Don’t give up, keep prompting and eventually she will open up.
- What is important to you? This is an important one. Often what is important to her may seem trivial to you. This doesn’t make her opinions and needs any less valid than yours. Parents and children just have different priorities in life and sometimes we forget that.
- What is the best compliment you received today? This prompts them to see themselves in a positive light and also remind them that others see them this way also. Remind them that a compliment is a compliment, no matter how big or small.
- What is your favourite TV Show? It’s amazing how much you can learn from someone just from observing the kind of TV they watch. Is she into period drama like Outlander or Downton Abbey? Perhaps she is into action and spends her days drooling over Stephen Amell and Arrow. Maybe she can be found in front of her favourite day time drama, or interesting enough maybe she’s into Current Affairs. Either way knowing what she likes to watch can give you a pretty good insight into her personality.
- What is your favourite movie? This is another one that can give you a little insight into her inner psyche. Is she into horror movies, maybe a little romance and drama? Perhaps she is a sci fi nerd. Movies are also a great way to find some common ground and also perhaps a chance to spend some time together for that awesome girls night in …. or out.
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Great topic, loved the range of questions. I know my daughter thinks I’m annoying if I start asking questions but what I have learned to do is just let her talk and I just listen. I try not to judge, or preach. If she asks for my opinion I share it with her. My daughter and I have a good relationship most of the time where she feels free to share “everything” with me.
As they get older I think they start to share more, especially if you have opened the communication channels from an early age.
I was chatting with my friend over the weekend about her struggles with her tween daughter. She’s feeling pretty helpless and at the end of her tether. I’ll send her your post.
My eldest daughter just turned 12, but I think there are some really important questions you have bought up.
I try to interact with my daughters as much as time permits, and I always try and make myself available for them so hopefully they feel comfortable coming to me with anything they want to discuss