A New Beginning – When Life Throws You A Curve Ball
Well it’s been a long time between drinks and life has a habit of catching up with you.
After an extended blogging break I’ve decided that now is the time for me to return.
The last 18 months have been a time of turmoil and uncertainty in our household. We have all been coming to terms with it in our own way.
Without going into too much detail we are now a purely all girl household after the girls father and I decided to separate a few years ago. It has taken time, patience and yes a bit of therapy to get us all to a point where we are happy and looking forward to what the future holds for each of us.
Miss 20 is now well and truly entrenched in Uni life, has the perfect boyfriend and is loving life. Albeit a little impatient to get started.
Miss 18 is struggling in the midst of HSC oblivion, just about to start her trials and facing a complete burnout. She’s hanging in there barely but she’ll get there. Only one term of high school to go, then exams and then she’s done. We can all take a big sigh of relief then!
Miss 13 is enjoying her first year of high school. She is driving us all crazy with her teenage boy bands and K-Pop, cutting and dying her hair bright red and finding her identity amongst a bevy of raging hormones.
Miss 10 has reached double digits, is thriving at school and enjoying playing with her friends. She has probably been the one the separation has affected the most. She doesn’t respond well to change. It has been a bit of a learning curve for her but on the most part she is doing much better.
Stay At Home Mum To Working Mum
The thing that has probably affected our household the most has been my change from a “stay at home mum” to a full time “working mum”. I leave the house before everyone in the morning and return after everyone in the afternoon, then tackle the homework, dinner, bed routine before stumbling into bed myself…. after a few wines.
It’s been a time of new routines, new responsibilities for everyone and great change.
Sometimes it has been really difficult, sometimes a real challenge and sometimes a barrel of laughs. It has also shown the girls how to work together as a team and how difficult it can be if someone in that team drops the ball….. myself included.
There have been instances when I have just wanted to give up completely. Times when it has been so hard putting one foot in front of the other and a struggle just get through the day.
Then there is the fear of an uncertain future and what life was going to hold for me. To be honest that one is still there and something that is hard not to dwell on.
The answer to all of this was really simple when I looked at the girls. Who did I want them to see?
In years to come, were they going to remember a mum who turned into a basket case, threw her arms up in the air, curled up into the foetal position and gave up? Or were they going to remember a Mum who’s determination to provide a positive example for them, to show them that no matter the adversity, I wasn’t going to give up on myself or them?
The truth is though, I have forgotten about myself over the last 18 months.
I have been concentrating on the girls, my job and just getting through each day. That has been the priority, making sure that they were happy and their lives continued undisrupted…… but where did that leave me? Honestly I didn’t care, my turn could come later.
So now that everything has settled, it is finally time for me to have a little “me time” and that includes getting back into writing. I am still going to be working full time, in a new job that I’m really excited about but I’m hoping to have a little more time to enjoy the other things I love in life too…. to find that elusive balance, which we are constantly told is out there.
Never Give Up
There are still some things I’m going to need to settle over the next 12 months or so… there will still be some rocky roads ahead but with a set of friends that have my back, the love and support of my family, I’m convinced we can get through anything.
I have realised that sometimes life just throws us a curve ball and we have to roll with the punches and get back on the horse…… Giddy up!